For Me, It's You
by Diamond Mask
Summary: Suzaku/Lelouch. AU. Yaoi. Wearing a yukata to the Ashford graduation festival was only the first of Lelouch's troubles - and certainly the least damaging of them all. Birthday fic for Val-Creative.


_For Me, It's You_

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Code Geass or any of the respective characters.

_A/N_: This is another fic based on the AU universe created in Val-Creative's 'Detention' and Peccadillo', as well as my own 'By Way of Mouth'. It was written as a birthday gift for the lovely Val, as well - congratulations for your birthday, my dear xD

Reviews would be much love.

-

-

_Graduation. _

_The day every teenager dreams of. The day that they leave their childhoods behind them forever and finally stand on the cusp of adulthood and independence. It is a day to be celebrated with much pomp and ceremony._

_Of course the Ashford Academy is no exception. They just add a tad more… pomp._

-

-

"All this seems rather… exorbitant."

In fact, 'exorbitant' may have been too kind a word. Ludicrous, overblown, and excessive to the 10th degree, it was a spectacle of such proportions that Lelouch was certain the Ashford family would be in debt for the next hundred years.

"Nonsense, Lelouch!" Milly Ashford threw her arms out in a grandiose gesture, as if somehow embracing the entire spectacle that lay before her. "Graduation is a celebration of youth and coming of age, they deserve a proper send-off before they leave school next week. Geez, Lelouch, I thought you would know teenagers better than that by now. Any excuse for a party is a good one, you know–"

"They would have been happy with a send-off half as excessive as this," Lelouch cut in quietly.

The wide grin on her face faded. Lelouch watched it twist into a wretched smile that belonged to an old woman. The shadows underneath her eyes, so cleverly hidden with makeup, tore at him. If it were in him to rip that false face off of her and bring back the radiant, bright Milly Ashford, he would have. But – he knew that he was years too late.

"I want them to have a memory worth remembering, Lelouch. Twenty years from now, I want them to look back and remember this. I want them to remember the people left behind. I want them to remember the Academy. I want them… to have happy memories of a place that –that may not be there anymore if they ever want to come back. Hey," her voice dropped to a whisper, fingers blindly searching for his own, "you understand, right? Lelouch. Its part of the same magic we all had before."

_If I have to lie for the magic to work… then, Lelouch, I will be a liar_. _The world is all a stage, right? And this is my stage. My performance. My magic. It's everything that I can do –the only thing I can do. _

His hand tightened over hers.

"I think it's beautiful, Milly."

-

-

To say Lelouch was 'unhappy' with the yukata Milly had picked out for him was an exercise in cruel irony. He had the expression –and the temper to match– of a very wet and angry kitten. Painfully aware of the admiring stares from students as he stalked through the school corridors, he emitted angry hisses every time he heard yet another squeal from an excited girl. And it suddenly seemed like the Academy was filled with girls; they flooded out of classrooms, out of every _crack_ in the wall it seemed to Lelouch, all to catch a glimpse of the young Philosophy professor stomping around in a traditional yukata and geta. His relief was palpable when he reached the safety of his office, and he almost threw himself inside. Of course, given his luck, his humiliation was not yet complete.

While Lelouch all but collapsed on the floor, panting from the exertion of trying to run on his geta and keep from falling flat on his face, a soft giggle alerted him to another presence in his office. He turned to see his chair swing around to face him, a familiar green-haired figure lounging in it. Cee-Cee, fingertips laced under her chin and elbows propped on the desk, examined him from head to toe with a smile quirking the corners of her mouth.

"I see Milly forgot the ribbons for your hair," she lamented out loud, having the nerve to sound _disappointed_. "And I even left a memo on her desk reminding her to get something pretty and flowery…"

"This whole fiasco was your idea!" he snarled up at her from the floor. "Witch, I should–!"

His secretary held up one finger to silence him. "Lelouch," she said primly, "you always told me –no, _lectured_ me– that teachers are responsible for their students. Therefore, if your students are suffering, you must suffer with them. If they are happy, be happy for them. If they have to dress up…" her eyes glinted. "_You _have to dress up."

Savagely, Lelouch ripped at the sash wrapped snugly around his waist. "I have never been so humiliated in my entire life!"

"Oh, really?" Cee-Cee noted breezily. "I can remember far more humiliating things about you without even trying, my dear prince. And by the way, you may want to keep that yukata on."

He gave her a suspicious glance. "Why?" he demanded, foreboding tightening his throat.

She shook out her sleeve, tapping a finger pointedly on her watch. "Oh… no particular reason, Lelouch."

Lelouch gritted his teeth at her nonchalant tone. But as much as he longed to explode, the way Cee-Cee was gleefully examining her watch meant _he had no time_. Thankfully, Lelouch kept a change of clothing in his office for emergencies –that more often than not were related to the aftermath of the "private consultations" he had with Suzaku– that he could wear after he took off this godforsaken yukata. He yanked at the sash with one hand, already reaching to loosen the other fastenings with his free hand, and hopping on one foot to loosen the geta, when–

Suzaku, the prince of timing, barrelled through the door. "Hey, Cee-Cee, I brought those things you – you… wanted…" his voice trailed off as he caught sight of the half undressed professor sprawled on the floor.

"Suzaku!" Cee-Cee clapped her hands together. "Just in time. I see you brought the ribbons I asked you for."

The boy continued to look dazed, eyes fixed on Lelouch, who suddenly became horribly aware of the picture he must be presenting: sash half unwound around his waist, loose yukata dipping away to exhibit his naked chest, his bare legs exposed and his tousled hair draping over his brow…

"Suzaku! Close your eyes or turn around, damn it!"

Suzaku, ever the perverted adolescent, continued to stare at him with wide eyes, a blush growing steadily more pronounced on his tanned cheeks. "L-Lelouch," he stammered, "you look really… uh, p-pretty."

"_Pretty_?"

"No!" Suzaku held up his hands in defence when the irate teacher advanced on him. "I mean pretty in a good way, Lu, the kind of pretty that makes me want to–" his blush burned hotter, and his voice dropped to a whisper, "_you know_."

Lelouch stopped in his tracks, an equally fierce blush flaring across his face. "Suzaku!" he began in a scandalised tone, before mortification and outrage seemed to choke him up completely.

"If you need direction, Lelouch, this is the part where Suzaku throws you to the floor and ravages you," his secretary suggested helpfully to the embarrassed prince. "And you can rip the yukata, Suzaku; Milly has a spare upstairs that will look just as cute on him."

"_Cee-Cee! Stop encouraging him, damn it! _"

The green-haired woman smirked as the professor lurched towards her and promptly tripped over the hem of the yukata, flailing helplessly before tumbling in an ungainly heap on the floor. Suzaku hurried forward, only to have his proffered arm batted away with a growl. The teenager sighed, rolling his eyes before reaching down and scooping a protesting Lelouch up into his arms.

Cee-Cee only smiled. "Well," she drawled, retrieving her handbag, "I think Suzaku has you well in hand, Lelouch. Now, if you boys will excuse me, I have a festival to get ready for. And, Suzaku…don't forget the hair ribbons. It's detention for a week if I don't see them tonight."

Suzaku nodded meekly, while the prince in his arms blustered, "You don't have the authority to give detentions–"

"I've been forging your signature and handing out detentions in your name for months, Lelouch." Then she paused, covering her mouth. "Oops, did I just say that out loud?"

"Cee-Cee!"

But she was gone, blowing him a kiss as she disappeared through the door. Lelouch sighed.

"You can put me down now, Kururugi," he said, a lilt to his voice changing the request to a command of _you put me down RIGHT NOW_. For once, the boy obeyed, setting Lelouch down gently on his feet.

"So…" Suzaku's eyes followed him across the room, watching the beautiful yukata flutter to the floor. "The teachers are dressing up for the festival too? I didn't know that."

"Another one of Milly's surprises," his lover muttered darkly, tossing one of the geta over his shoulder hard, not needing to volunteer any further comment about what he thought about the Ashford heir and her 'surprises'.

Suzaku dodged the geta as it sailed dangerously close to his head, and said quietly, "The yukata… it really suits you."

Lelouch scowled. "If you say anything about me looking like a –like a _woman_, I swear I'll–"

"No. I just never thought I'd get the chance to go to a Japanese festival with someone like you," Suzaku replied with embarrassing frankness. "With someone that I…you know. Liked."

"I won't be really…going with you," Lelouch said awkwardly, avoiding Suzaku's gaze by busying himself with his belt. "I'm supposed to be a chaperone."

"Then chaperone _me_ the whole evening," and suddenly Suzaku's voice was at his ear, teeth nipping gently at the lower lobe. Lelouch drew in a sharp breath, inadvertently relaxing into the arms encircling his waist.

"Japan changed when the Brittanians invaded. The festivals changed. It's not the same anymore. Nothing is. I want it –I want it to be the same as it was when I was a kid. I want to go with you… see your face lit up by nothing than lanterns… make a wish at the shrine with you…" Suzaku chuckled suddenly. "And eat _takoyaki_ with you. And maybe I can win a prize for you. I'd like to give you something to remember it by."

"You…you make it sound like a d-date, Kururugi."

Suzaku's voice was muffled in Lelouch's shoulder. "What if I want it to be?"

"You know it can't be," Lelouch said uncomfortably. "We can't do this in public. At least not until you've graduated…" And even then, he thought, would it be possible to pursue a relationship further than furtive kisses and fifteen stolen minutes of lovemaking at school and when they could, Lelouch's apartment? So far, Lelouch realised uneasily, much of their 'relationship' had evolved around sex. Quite frankly, he knew as little of Suzaku as the boy knew of him. There was _understanding_ between them, yes, but little in the way of anything else. And what Suzaku was implying, what he was saying he wanted…

Suzaku was quiet behind him, stroking absentmindedly at the back of Lelouch's neck. Then a confident, "I graduate next week."

"Yes. You do."

More quiet conviction. "I'm already eighteen. Soon you won't have any more excuses about being with me."

"Suzaku, I don't–"

But Suzaku was slipping away from him, giving him a small smile. "I have a few things to do before I have to get ready for the festival, Lampeouge-sensei." He pressed the ribbons into Lelouch's hand, before hesitantly brushing a kiss over his lips. "I'll see you at the shrine tonight."

At the unspoken question in Suzaku's voice, Lelouch could only nod.

-

-

As dusk fell, under clear skies still touched with rose as the sun set, the staff and students of Ashford entered a world untouched by time. Hundreds of flickering antique lanterns flanked the pathways to lead them, and lanterns of delicate paper studded the trees like jewels. The main exhibition was undoubtedly the traditional Japanese shrine erected on the main pavilion. Already, students robed in colourful yukatas were hurrying to inscribe their wishes on thin strips of paper, taking great delight in hanging them from the low-hanging branches of the willows that the grounds staff had transplanted to the school for the occasion. Others stood at the entrance to the shrine, clapping their hands as their peers tossed coins over their shoulders and into the altar. Two girls dressed in the robes of shrine maidens applauded the efforts of their classmates.

He smiled wistfully, fingering his own slip of paper tucked safely underneath the yukata.

"Going to make a wish, Lelouch-sensei?"

Without turning around, the professor replied, "Such a childish gesture? Hardly. I was only… considering it. And it's Lamperouge-sensei, Kururugi. How many more times do I need to remind you?"

Suzaku slipped behind him, dangerously close, and whispered, "Until I get tired of hearing your voice, _Lamperouge_-sensei. Which," he grinned impishly, "isn't likely to happen any time soon."

Awkwardly, Lelouch tottered forward on the geta to put an appropriate distance between himself and Suzaku. His stomach was fluttering wildly –_not _with nerves, Lelouch told himself firmly– and when a hand reached out to tug gently at his sash, the fluttering became a palpable ache.

"Hey, hold on. My chaperone shouldn't be running off without me."

"I'm not your chaperone, Kururugi."

"But I'm an Ashford student, Lamperouge-sensei. And I have a reputation as a delinquent. Surely you have a _duty_ to make sure I don't get into any trouble tonight."

Lelouch's violet eyes darkened. "You're pushing it, Suzaku," he said it a low voice, giving his student a look of warning. A hand gripped his wrist before he could move away; thumb stroking insistently at his palm.

"One night, Lelouch. Give me one night. Just for me."

The summer breeze stirred, sending a warm ripple through Lelouch's hair. He shivered despite the balmy evening and Suzaku's searing touch was maddening. One night. Suzaku made it sound so simple –"_hey, what difference does one night make?_ _Stop being so uptight, Lulu!_" But one night could ruin everything. He swallowed, "yes" and "no"warring on his tongue.

"Suzaku, I–"

"I can't–I _won't_ take no for an answer." The playfulness was gone from his voice, replaced by something that resembled pleading, almost desperate. "It's not like a date. It won't be, I understand that. I do. I just –just for tonight, let's… all I want to do is walk next to you. I promise, I won't even try to hold your hand. No one will know."

"No" should have won out. All the reason Lelouch possessed pointed to saying "no". But he found himself whispering "yes" just to banish the uncertainty on Suzaku's face, and see the suddenly shy smile replace it.

"_Arigatou_, Lelouch-sensei."

The exiled prince nodded uneasily, wondering if he was making a mistake. But it was too late to reconsider as a warm, dry hand clasped his own –already breaking a promise, but Lelouch didn't let go– and led him down the lantern-lit path.

-

-

Lelouch rubbed a hand over his stomach and stifled a groan. Suzaku is going to be the death of me_,_ he thought. The _takoyaki_ had been good, he admitted, but they had been rich –particularly on top of the _okonomiyaki_, _ayu_ and _yakisoba_ noodles Suzaku had practically shoved down his throat. They now sat lumped together in his stomach, the feeling akin to if he had swallowed a bowling ball.

"Lelouch, you have to try this!"

Lelouch could have cried when he saw the boy running towards him with yet another dish in hand. He couldn't even muster the effort to scold him for not addressing him properly.

"This is one of my favourites," he said enthusiastically. "You'll love this, Lelouch. It's called _dango_–"

The prince tuned out Suzaku's voice while he stared at the small balls of sticky rice flour and his stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch.

"–these ones have been dipped in _konako_. Toasted soy powder, I mean. We used to eat these at _matsuri_ all the time…but that was years ago." Suzaku regarded them with a little wistfulness before he shook his head. "Hey, Lelouch, you try one." And he held one of the sweets up to Lelouch's mouth, pressing it invitingly against his lips.

Lelouch looked around quickly to see that no one was watching this open display of flirting. The Japanese teenager was letting excitement overwhelm him, forgetting his "hands off" promise completely.

"Suzaku, I don't think–"

"Open wide, Lelouch," came the singsong command.

Calloused fingers pushed against his lips, and reluctantly he opened his mouth and accepted the sweet. It was a pleasant treat, the chewy texture offset by a hint of sweetness, and Lelouch choked it down, thinking that he might have enjoyed it more had he not already been stuffed to the brim, and he managed a smile.

"They're very good."

"Told you." Suzaku stuffed one of the _dango_ into his mouth before offering another to Lelouch. When the professor shook his head, the boy shrugged and ate them himself with an enthusiasm that made Lelouch turn a little green.

"I think –I think I've had enough to eat for one night, Suzaku."

"You sure?" He sent a longing look at the stall selling bananas coated in chocolate. "I could still fit some more in–"

"I'm sure you could. And I said _I'd_ had enough, that doesn't mean _you_ have to stop if you don't want to. Now go fill that bottomless pit you call a stomach." Lelouch gave him a little push towards the stall. Suzaku didn't need any more encouragement and trotted eagerly to his next treat.

Lelouch smiled fondly. Suzaku's enthusiasm was certainly infectious, and the professor couldn't remember the last time he'd spent an evening laughing and smiling with genuine affection and ease outside of Nunnaly's company. He rested against a nearby bench at the pinwheel display, smoothing the yukata over his knees as he listened to the whirr and rattle of the pinwheels with the summer breeze. The yukata that Milly and Cee-Cee had chosen for him was coloured a deep purple, darker than the hue of his eyes and emblazoned with a lighter pattern of butterflies just barely distinguishable against the cotton material. He had to admit, Milly and Cee-Cee could have done worse – even the ribbon in his hair was surprisingly low-key for an exhibitionist like the Ashford heir, and a sadistic woman like Cee-Cee who thrived off his humiliation.

His gaze lifted above the crowd, searching for a familiar figure. A flash of muted pink and she was there, laughing, hand entwined with that of the young man standing behind her wheelchair. A girl was beside her as well, and she bent down to whisper something that made both girls laugh out loud and Rivalz blush fiercely. A slight frown pinched Lelouch's mouth. He'd promised not to fuss around Nunnally and her friends tonight, but… he made a mental note to call Rivalz to his office on Monday morning and let him know that Nunnally had a protective older brother. How did that motivation go again–? Ah, yes. "_You break her heart, I'll break your neck_", he quoted silently to himself. Crude, yet oddly poetic in its simplicity. Not that he'd actually say that to Rivalz, of course. He would just… insinuate it. Politely. A friendly reminder of the pain and destruction that he could wreak at the slightest tear that welled up in his sister's eyes because of a boy.

Lelouch smirked to himself, flicking idly at the pinwheel near his face. Then a flicker of green caught his eye, and he saw Suzaku hurrying towards him. He stood, about to ask if Suzaku had finally finished eating, when the teenager interrupted him.

"Here," Suzaku beamed with childish pride. "I won it for you."

Lelouch frowned as a plastic bag was squashed into his hands. The bag was filled with water and inside was… "A goldfish, Suzaku? What do you expect me to do with a fish?"

"I dunno. Keep it as a souvenir, maybe?" There was an obstinate expression on the boy's face when Lelouch protested against the absurdity of the fish, but Suzaku continued firmly in a no-nonsense voice, "I want you to have it, Lelouch."

Lelouch sighed but accepted the gift…if only to placate Suzaku. The shy smile that emerged for the second time that night on the Japanese teenager's face sent a jolt through Lelouch. That smile of uncertainty that had been appearing often –_too often_– on his face in the past week, and Suzaku was usually so cocky, so assured of himself around his teacher and lover… it was unnerving to see a timid side to the ordinarily brash young man. Was it reassuring that Suzaku may have been having the same doubts that plagued his mind? Lelouch considered, cupping the plastic bag with both hands. He could feel the fish bumping gently into the side of its plastic prison and the sphere of water was suddenly very heavy in his grasp.

"I suppose I could keep it," he said finally. "There's a place on my desk that I've been looking to fill."

Suzaku beamed, and then leaned in quickly, catching Lelouch's mouth in a quick kiss. Caught unawares, Lelouch could only hiss an angry, "Not in public, idiot!" after his lover had pulled away.

Suzaku only smirked, unperturbed, hand brushing over the spot where Lelouch's hand had smacked his cheek. "Don't worry. No one saw us."

Ruffled, annoyed, and only the _tiniest_ bit pleased by Suzaku spontaneous show of affection (not that he would admit it), Lelouch retorted, "Do it again, and I'm going home."

"Come on, Lelouch…" one hand tweaked playfully at the purple ribbon binding his hair behind his neck.

"It's _Lamperouge-sensei_!"

Suzaku chuckled. "I'll promise to be good from now on, _Lelouch_-sensei."

"Oh, I doubt that!"

Lelouch set off at a brisk pace, Suzaku falling easily into place beside him and arguing back teasingly. Banter ensued, with ease and familiarity such that Lelouch unconsciously reached out for his hand, but when he felt the brush of calloused fingers against his own, he pulled back. _What am I doing?_ He couldn't hold Suzaku's hand in the middle of a crowd of students and teachers! He let his hand fall back to his side, annoyed at the reluctance he felt at doing so. Even so, they walked closely together, each step allowing their hands to touch occasionally.

"There'll be fireworks soon."

"Hmm." Lelouch made a non-committal sound to the comment, concentrating on the point where Suzaku's hand bumped against his own.

"Do you want to watch?"

A half-hearted shrug. "If that's what you want."

"Everyone will be going to watch the fireworks. It'll be crowded and we probably won't get a good spot to see them. You wanna to check out the shrine instead?" he added in a tone of forced casualness.

Lelouch shot him a suspicious look. Suzaku's eyes were luminous in the flickering lantern light, and the professor's stomach fluttered with a knowing feeling. _Oh, he has fireworks in mind; I know that look all too well. _And he knew all too well that he should be discouraging Suzaku's behaviour, but once again… "yes" won.

"All right," he agreed, and Suzaku led him furtively around the outer edges of the festival, avoiding the pavilion crowded with excited spectators for the fireworks display. No one noticed the two men moving in the opposite direction to everyone else –no one save a green-haired woman, who only smiled behind the ornamental fan obscuring her face when she saw their tightly entwined hands.

The interior of the shrine was cool, quiet and most importantly, devoid of a soul. While Suzaku locked the door behind them, Lelouch set the plastic bag containing his fish onto a nearby crate and huddled into the light folds of the yukata, wrapping his arms around himself to suppress a shiver.

"Cold?"

"Not really." But he didn't protest when Suzaku's arms wrapped around his waist from behind. The knot of the ribbon was released and hair fanned across his neck and shoulders.

"Lelouch. I didn't tell you earlier… you look so beautiful in that yukata. But–" fingers picked at the sash, unpinning the cloth holding the yukata together, "it's been in my head the whole evening… thinking how much more beautiful you look out of it."

"Suzaku…" The name left his mouth on a soft sigh as the yukata fell around his shoulders, leaving them bare. Suzaku's yukata followed suit under Lelouch's hasty fingers, both robes forming an impromptu bed. Black-rimmed glasses were discarded carelessly, forgotten in the moment. He didn't protest when Suzaku drew him down onto the wooden floor, or when he was laid out on his back, Suzaku crouching above him, worshipping him with hands and eyes.

The steady boom of the fireworks begin outside, and their lovemaking quickly falls into the rhythm, continuous explosions of pleasure that left them straining against each other. Lelouch welcomed the familiar pain of being taken, crying out in muffled pants against his lover's chest when the pain was transformed into a delicious ache.

Suzaku murmured sweet nothings into his ear, but Lelouch heard little over the boom of the fireworks and the pounding of his own heart. Each thrust took him to a higher pinnacle –_and he was so afraid of falling_– until he clung to Suzaku so tightly his nails threatened to draw blood.

The excited shouts of wonder from outside of the shrine can do nothing to match the wonder and admiration expressed in every gasp they utter. Perspiration was smeared between their bodies, and Lelouch was sure that his hair was a tangled mess from Suzaku's eager fingers. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was that Suzaku was –_on him, in him, wrapped around him_– ensnared in Lelouch's embrace so completely and utterly.

As he neared his climax, Suzaku shuddered atop Lelouch, closing his eyes as the world was splattered white in an instance of divine oblivion. He groaned, "Lelouch–"

At the strangled gasp of his name from his lover, with the tightening of Suzaku's firm grip around his sex, Lelouch dissolved into a trembling mass, limbs quivering in the aftermath of his orgasm and with the effort of holding Suzaku's weight. The Japanese youth, ever mindful that his professor was somewhat lacking in physical strength and stamina, rolled to one side, resting his head on Lelouch's chest.

Blissful, heavy silence fell, broken when Suzaku whispered breathlessly, "I love you."

Lelouch stared at the ceiling, a wry smile curving his lips. _I've been wondering ever since this first started… when he would say that._ _I promised myself that I wouldn't let it get that far. And he picks the perfect time to say it –when I'm at my weakest. What am I supposed to say? _

"Lelouch?" he whispered again, more uncertainly this time, "Lelouch. I love you."

_How many times haven't I played through this scenario in my mind? I can either break his heart, make him hate me, or I can give him what he wants and possibly ruin both our lives. _

Suzaku was his student. His responsibility. And yet, against all reason and even his own judgment, Lelouch was in love with him. Hopeless, head-over-heels, true-blue love. The kind that made him go weak at the knees whenever Suzaku was near him, or whenever he heard Suzaku's voice. The kind of love that teenage girls dreamed about, the giddy feeling of walking on air just because he smiled at you.

"You shouldn't –don't throw that word around. You don't even know what it means."

"Do you?"

Lelouch shifted uncomfortably. "This isn't about me, Suzaku."

"You're right. It's about us."

"Us? There is no 'us'. There _shouldn't be an us_."

"I'm in love with you." The same quiet conviction of that morning was repeated now, and an arm curled possessively around Lelouch's waist. "I love you and I'm not going to let you go. That's it. Once I graduate, I won't be your student anymore. I'll just be Kururugi Suzaku, and I'll be _yours_, damn it. Why can't you… why can't you just accept that? Don't fight it, Lu. Please."

Lelouch frowned, propping himself up on one elbow so he could look at Suzaku. "This situation isn't quite as ideal as you imagine it, Suzaku. Did you think we would be riding off into the sunset, happily ever after? I have responsibilities here–"

"_You're_ the one complicating things," he argued back. "It's as simple as me loving you, and you loving me back. That's all that matters. It's all that _should_ matter."

"You're still so childish!"

"Do you love me?"

Lelouch blinked hesitantly at the sudden question, and Suzaku grabbed his wrist, staring unblinkingly into his gaze. "Lelouch," he whispered. "Do you love me?"

_I can't_… "What I… feel for you has nothing to do with this."

Suzaku let go of his wrist, twisting his own hands together instead. He was blinking rapidly, and Lelouch was hit with an intense stab of guilt. He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, words were spilling uncontrollably out of Suzaku.

"Do you remember, Lelouch, when I told you that I wanted to change the world? I know you think that I'm naïve, that I'm still a child…and maybe you're right. I don't know. But, next week…after I graduate, I'm going into the military. Full service. I don't know long it will be, it might be years before I come back… but I had to tell you before I left."

"You can't go." Lelouch's words were a simple denial. "Full military service? For _Brittania_? You, an Eleven in the Brittanian army! Are you insane, or just suicidal?"

"I am going, Lelouch, because it's what I feel is right. And it's –_fine_, if you don't think so."

A numb feeling was spreading across Lelouch, all he could do was stare at Suzaku, _praying_ that what he was hearing was a lie. Lelouch's voice came out softer than he thought it would then, considering that he felt like screaming uncontrollably.

"Then just what do you expect me to _do_, Kururugi?"

"I'm scared going into this, Lu. I'm scared that I'm going to lose you, just when I've _found_ you. And I-I won't be able to stand it if you're with someone else. I'll go crazy knowing someone that's not me is touching you; kissing you…it's fucking selfish, I know that, but I can't do it, Lelouch. Do you know what I was going to ask you tonight?"

Lelouch shook his head mutely, and Suzaku continued, "I was going to ask you to wait for me. For when I…come back. Will you? Because I don't think I– I can't…"

_Oh, Suzaku…_ the professor moved closer, cupping the younger man's cheek, tilting his face up. He kissed him, gently and confidently, even while his own desperate thoughts spiralled out of his control.

_And here I though that all I would have to worry about was Suzaku saying he was in love with me…now he's leaving. He might die. He's asking me to love him. I don't…know what to say to him. Except– _

"You can't leave me, Suzaku."

"I'll come back. Just promise me–"

Lips covered his own, and they both tasted salty wetness.

"Damn it, Kururugi…do you think it will be that easy for me to forget about you? You're so stubborn, so annoying…" _You just fell straight into my life, you disrupted everything…and I can't help but love you. Even though you're a damn fool for plunging head first into this war. I'll still–_

"I'll wait."

"Lelouch…"

The fireworks had long since faded and their lovemaking fierce, venting their frustration and anger until it gave way to slow, gentle and bittersweet movements. They savoured each other till the early hours of the morning, Suzaku whispering "I love you" over and over until he was hoarse. They lay together in the drowsy afterglow, Suzaku huddling against Lelouch as he dozed. Lelouch lay in quiet contemplation, stroking his lover's hair. Before his eyes closed, he was struck by a forgotten memory. _The slip of paper in the pocket of my yukata…my wish. _

His eyes snapped open. "Suzaku, we forgot to make our wishes at the shrine."

Suzaku nuzzled sleepily at his shoulder, poking him with his nose. "Doesn't matter. For me, it's you, so," he yawned widely, "there's nothing else to wish for."

Lelouch smiled, giving himself to sleep. "A liar and a _baka_…" he murmured.

_Suzaku…I couldn't wish for anything more than you, too._

_-_

_End_

_-_

_Glossary:_

_Yukata_: The lighter and simpler casual-wear version of the kimono often worn in summer or at home.

_Geta_: a form of traditional Japanese footwear that resembles both clogs and flip-flops. They are a kind of sandal with an elevated wooden base held onto the foot with a fabric thong to keep the foot well above the ground.

_Takoyaki_: fried balls containing octopus.

_Okonomiyaki_: a pan-fried dish containing eggs, cabbage and various other ingredients, i.e. a Japanese style pizza, or savoury pancake.

_Yakisoba_: fried noodles.

_Dango_: a sweet desert made with sticky-rice flour.

_Ayu_: fish on a stick, basically.

_Matsuri_: 'festival'.


End file.
